Running a 3:30 marathon has long been a dream and goal of mine.
My PR is 3:54.
Running has long been a struggle for me. If I’m being very honest, much of that has been of my own making. I get in my own way all the time. There are many reasons, which I detailed in this blog: Today is a good day to die and this one: My InsideTracker results are in and not what I thought.
And then some of it hasn’t been my fault, like my severe seasonal allergies.
For so long, I dreamed of running a certain time and dreamed of doing something without really believing I could do it because of my past failures. Then the other day I thought, “I can run a lot faster” because I can. My heart tells me I can run a lot faster; I can feel it in my bones.
Self-belief is a process. Realizing how I was hindering myself from my best was the first step. Since then, I’ve still struggled, but I also completed my first triathlon without a lot of fitness.
That race changed me. Doing new things shows you what you’re capable of. We slowly learn what we can do and the confidence growths little-by-little or sometimes in leaps and bounds.
I feel different than I used to when I think about a fall marathon. I feel excited rather than scared, and not just for the race, but for the training.
I’m coming out of the fog I’ve been in. My anxiety is almost gone, my allergies are abating for the season, I’m taking vitamin B12 supplements, I’m sleeping more and I have more energy than I’ve had in a long time. It’s time to train.
I can’t wait to run faster.