Listening to Nicole Antoinette’s new podcast with Kate Grace tonight, Kate addressed how she acknowledged how she was sabotaging herself in certain ways.
This rings a bell. I sabotage myself all the time. My actions are often not aligned with my values and with my goals. I’ll change workouts at the last minute. I’ll take naps when I know I need to actually do something else. I’ll not worry about tidying my apartment even though I know it makes me crazy because I don’t feel like tidying my apartment. I stay on social media too late and skip yoga and foam rolling, then don’t go to bed on time. And you know what? There is a void in my soul. There is an empty feeling within me because I know I’m not living up to being the person I want to be. And I’m freaking exhausted. I’ve been at the end of this rope for a while.
This is something we all do, so I don’t feel ashamed of it. This is the mess of being human.
Listening to Kate talk about how she realized she needed to make changes in her life (add structure), and then seeing how she became a freakin’ Olympian, along with the mess my own running and training has been for months, I recognized the work I need to do. Because I want to become a triathlete this year. I want to run a 3:30 marathon, or at least set a solid PR in October. I want to simply have consistency in my workouts again, which is my main goal right now. The marathon time is important to me, but consistency is the first step to getting there.
I asked myself two questions:
What am I doing that’s not serving myself?
- Too much time on social media.
- Not planning my day and workouts, then not having to hold myself accountable and allowing myself too much flexibility.
- Not getting enough real rest.
- Not tidying my apartment and vehicle enough.
What can I do?
- Plan my workouts and do them even if I don’t feel like it.
- Set daily intentions.
- Go to bed on time.
- Set rules around social media.
- Take a few minutes a day to blast some music and tidy my apartment.
None of these things are massive changes. It’s getting me, a person with a tendency to fly by the seat of my pants, a little more organized.
What I did tonight took me less than an hour. And more, I have the satisfaction of knowing I was productive and took small steps toward my goals and the person I want to be. It’s so easy to build things up in our head and tell ourselves how difficult they are going to be. That’s not usually true. We can do shit. We can do things one simple step at a time. The most important thing is to show up. Show up and try every day. The results will come in time if we keep showing up.
So tonight, I flew around my apartment and tidied up. It’s already a more relaxing environment.
I packed my swim gear for my workout tomorrow.
I set a notebook at my bedside table to write out my intention for each day. Wednesday, July 20: Use time wisely.
I went back and logged recent workouts (for being a writer and journal keeper, I suck at this), and then I planned my workouts through Sunday.
I am writing this post to keep myself accountable.
I’m off to do 10 minutes of yoga and then some foam rolling. I’ll be in bed by 10 p.m., and I’ll see you lot on twitter tomorrow.