In which I reach the end of myself, or why not?

Have you ever been at the end of yourself? Or at least the end of your rope?

You know the feeling, you’re finally so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired that you absolutely must surrender and transform. There is nothing else left but that.

That’s me earlier this week. I reached the end of myself. I was cooked, done for, done in and really, really fucking tired. Tired of the allergies and asthma plaguing me for three months out of the year, making me feel depressed and fatigued and taking away my ability to run. Tired of not using my time well. Tired of struggling with running burnout for the past eight months.

You get the picture.

It’s funny, because as awful as all those things were (in first-world problem terms), my life is going great otherwise. Seriously, it’s fantastic.

So I bought some Flonase (I hadn’t before because I didn’t think it would work and it’s expensive). Can I do a commercial for that shit, because it works. Like, it really works, you guys. So that’s got me out of my fog.

And it’s approaching the end of allergy season anyway, and I have so much energy right now I don’t even know how to handle it. I just got back from an hour bike ride, and I feel like Superwoman on cocaine.

I found an allergy doctor to start getting allergy shots (and even responsibly checked my insurance benefits on that matter. Being 28 is solid.).

And then something fantastic, something incredible happened. My boyfriend’s friend invited him to come stay at his house in an exotic location next June and do a half ironman.

Me: “I want to go! I’ll cheer you on! … Wait. If I’m going, I’m going to do the damn race, too.”

Because of course. Why sit on the sidelines when I could be in the ocean and on the roads?

Regardless of what happens with that potential and extremely preliminary idea of a trip, I decided I’m going to compete in a half ironman in 2017. There’s Ironman 70.3 Steelhead right here in Michigan.

I immediately found people whom I emailed about finding a swim coach. I’m very serious about this very sudden decision. At 28, I will learn how to properly swim for the first time in my life because I want to become an Ironman someday and it’s never, ever too late to try something entirely, wonderfully new. The triathlon thing isn’t new. It’s always been in my plan, but there was a part of me that wanted to qualify for Boston first.

But I’m struggling with running. Starting a brand new adventure may be what I need to rejuvenate and refresh my mind and body. Swimming will make me stronger, and that’s not going to hurt my marathon.

It’s a relief to sit here and frantically type something that’s from a place of happiness and excitement rather than doom and gloom.

This week, I ended my rest week early to get in a bike ride, and my summer 2016 cycling campaign is officially underway. I’ll start running again when I can to build miles for the Marine Corps. Marathon, and get in that pool to learn about all kinds of things I don’t know about now.

Here goes: Ironman 70.3 in 2017. Why not?


One thought on “In which I reach the end of myself, or why not?

  1. Awesome! My friend’s parents live on the course near Lake Michigan so I’ve been able to see the race a few times. If one of your goals is Boston, I think triathlon will help you get there. I felt way more fit at the end of last year’s triathlon season than I ever did after a training cycle for just a running race. All the cross training that’s naturally built in to tri training really helped my running. And I found out I love swimming, I hope you do too!

    Liked by 1 person

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