It all came crashing down at kilometer 25. My body, fed up with the months of training, stress and poor sleep, could not go on. I burned out a month ago and have been hanging on by a thread.
I dropped out of the Hamilton Marathon just past 30K. The thought of fighting strong winds for another 12K…I couldn’t do it. I started that race with an empty tank. My inner competitive fire was embers, and barely.
The first half was OK. I enjoyed running along the Niagrara Escarpment, or the Mountain. It overlooks Hamilton and Lake Ontario. The Canadian runners were friendly and warm. And very supportive when I was hurting. Before the race, I had a lot of fun chatting with fellow runners. It’s a great tribe.
After a cry in my truck, I laid there for an hour, then got coffee and doughnuts and headed back to Michigan. Doughnuts were necessary.
- @PicardTips: Picard management tip: Don’t try to go at maximum speed all the time. You’ll burn out your engines.
I’m disappointed of course, but calm. I know I made the right decision. I can hardly walk. I’m not sitting here questioning my toughness as I once would have. What I am questioning is my daily life. Clearly, it’s not sustainable. I need to decrease the stress in my life, learn how to handle it better, get some blood work done, look at my diet, reevaluate my training and REST.Typically, my marathon break is two weeks. This one might be a month. I’m going to exercise daily, whether it’s walking, yoga or something else. But it’s not going to be running until the fire is back.
It’s not that I don’t like running right now, I want to be all in. I want to have courage and go for my dreams. There’s stuff in my life that’s not conducive for making that happen, so it’s time to make changes.
I will walk away from this with my head held high. I am not ashamed, and I am not a quitter. There is no doubt in my mind I will come back stronger.
Head up, wings out.